Beachside Bytes

A bit of verse for our DevOps users.

In the land of DevOps, where the bits and bytes flow,
Software Engineers are kids, you surely must know.
They’re here to build castles made out of sand,
Using libraries and code, sculpted by hand.

Now, listen up close, and I’ll tell you your tale,
Of DevOps, a role which must never, ever fail.
You must prep, you must plan! And you surely must scheme,
To make sure these castles don’t stay as mere dreams.

First, you prepare all the sand with great care,
Ensuring it’s ready for what they’ll build there.
Then tools are provided, to shape and to mold,
The digital features which are to be sold.

Then section off parts of the vast digital beach,
Assign resources accordingly (or your budget will weep)
Then keep the Wild Wild Web controlled and at bay,
As for what SWEs will do, you can only pray pray pray.

But as it happens, fire drills go unplanned —
You must be stern when things do get out of hand.
For a single misconfig’d code that misfires,
Could set several other castles ablaze with fires.

But you’re not just enforcer; you’re caretaker too,
You’ll need to dry SWE tears as their mistakes you undo.
Protect them from exposure with sunblock and more,
For security gaps are dangerous and cleanup is a chore.

With a watchful eye, you must log and observe,
When requests come in ask: “who does this serve?”
You protect what SWEs built, keep everything fine,
For only their projects matter (at least, in the C-suite’s mind).

And then there are times when folks disagree,
About projects and resources or just “how things should be.”
As DevOps you should step in with mandates to cite,
Explain to them all why an idea is “just not quite right.”

But alas you’ll be ignored (and get used to it)
The kids want it their way or they’ll throw a fit.
The order comes down, the ticket is in,
You’ll sigh, document, then ultimately begin.

Remember to take a quick pic, a snapshot in time,
So when things go awry, you can easily rewind,
Remember those moments when it was “all fine?”
This wasn’t your idea but your job’s on the line.

But it’s not all stern faces and rules to obey,
You get to applaud the SWEs at the end of the day.
When the C-suites arrive, with cameras in tow,
To reward the SWEs with cash, stock, and more blow.

And there’s more! There’s always so much more,
Get past Mon. and Tue. then WTF out the door.
It’s abstractly Sisyphean so don’t get delirium,
We understand. With love, from Team Pomerium.

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